dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
