He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
