Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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