btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Randomize
