Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fence marks all over my body
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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