There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Randomize
