They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
