Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize