everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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