Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
