Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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