He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
