i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
