Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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