a queef is a wish your heart makes.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
