my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
