You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
