Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
