wakey wakey hands off snakey
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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