how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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