carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize