none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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