I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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