She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
