your room smells of hookers.
And success
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
