i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize