its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
