well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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