my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
