He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
