On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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