if you like me you must not know who I am
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
operation harelip BJ is a go
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize