I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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