Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize