Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She bit a glass in half.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
