May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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