I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
