areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
