so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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