i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
