I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
