My sheets look like a crime scene.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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