How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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