he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
