Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
