Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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