I hate your face
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
