The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize