that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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