Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
