why do cheetos always look like penises
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
