4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
