normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.