New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize