She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
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