I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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