I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
