Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
do herpes really smell.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
