Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You can't special order awesome
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
