"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We left the knife in your bed.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
